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Feminism Doesn’t Resolve Bad Relationships In Society; Rather, It Makes Them Worse.

Feminism against patriarchy

Marxism is the seed of modern-day feminism. When the Marxist perspective divides society horizontally into bourgeoisie and proletariat, feminism divides society vertically into men and women.

Feminism is built on the belief that men suppress and exploit women. Therefore, a woman’s life should be a continuous revolution against her oppressor, a man. It’s essentially the conflict theory of social structures, wherein the contradictions in a society or culture increases so much that it breaks the society.

It is based on the idea of patriarchy: a system of male domination whereby women are kept subordinate to men. In this system, the harm can only go one way. Women can cause harm to men and other women, but that’s not as severe because they are assumed to have less power.

Being In A Bad Relationship

Any relationship is bad when you can’t be yourself or aspire to grow in it. When we are stuck in a bad relationship, fear, guilt, or shame is cultivated to maintain the status quo that the dominating party desires.

Bad relationships have been a problem, maybe from the time Homo Sapiens and Neanderthals coexisted. Women, especially, had to deal with a greater amount of toxicity throughout the history of mankind. It can be from their parents, their partners, their partner’s family, their children, or God almighty. Sometimes, women had to suffer from all of them at once!

This doesn’t mean men are spared from the misfortune of bad relationships. Sometimes fathers beat their sons harder and punished them more harshly. Mothers put a greater burden on sons because they were deemed to be stronger and tougher!

Women mistreated men too in horrible ways. In fact, it doesn’t matter which gender you belong to. If you didn’t have loving parents or a family growing up, chances are you’ll always be inflicted by the burdens of bad relationships. Unless you make a conscious effort to attract love and support in your life.

Introducing Feminism Into The Picture

First wave feminism

In 19th-century Europe, there was a steadfast effort to sideline women and treat them as inferior. Some women strove and rose above it and called on women around the world to stand up for themselves and fight for their inalienable rights. They urged women to work hard and aspire to greater things in life rather than succumb to the miserly comforts of a meaningless existence.

But it wouldn’t save women from the wrath of bad relationships! The first-wave feminists were of the view that love, growth, and liberty were possible in a relationship as long as a woman got to choose her partner.

Then, the second and third waves of feminism came along! Second-wave feminism sought to resolve or speak out against the bad relationships women were trapped in. In fact, that was one of the greatest goals of second-wave feminism: eradicate bad relationships that suppress women.

What Does Feminism Say About Bad Relationships?

Second wave feminism

As we discussed in the beginning, feminism divides society into two: repressive men and repressed women. Apparently, men are the problem.

It’s the exploitative, dominant social structure created and maintained by men through sexism and misogyny that causes women misery. The authority that the father assumes in a girl’s life to decide how she lives, the control a husband wields over his wife, and so on. It makes women victims by seizing their autonomy. That’s what feminism teaches us.

It also offers the solution, the same one that communism offers in the case of class struggle. To rebel, revolt, and destroy this status quo where men, much like the bourgeois, hold unequal power!

The answer is social change and cultural annihilation. It doesn’t matter who comes out on top after the revolution ends. Take women out of their families, society, and culture, and let them live a lonely hyper-competitive life to be deemed successful!

A lot of people have been talking about the dangers feminism poses to women and society. But I want to point out something else here: feminism looks to society for solutions. Worse yet, it renders women powerless, and thus, not responsible, for their well-being!

If the tables were turned, and the person trapped in a bad relationship was a man, we wouldn’t be demanding social change and restructuring. We would ask the man to stand up for himself, get out of the situation, cut his losses, and build himself up again!

From Victimhood To Responsible Living

Let’s try to change the perspective from feminist victimhood to one of self-growth. For that matter, let’s forget which gender we belong to.

Often, we are brought up in bad families. That has a profound effect on how we build our future relationships. Then, there is the added burden of external influence and trauma inflicted by people outside the family because we couldn’t depend on it.

As a child, we had very little control over these things. But the reality is, we may continue to behave in the same way even after we get out of that toxic environment. We may still end up in bad relationships, marriages, bad workplaces, or may be forced to be a part of them.

But if we choose to assume responsibility for our lives at any point, we can build a better life. That change is genuine and it’ll end the years of suffering affecting you and everyone around you.

Neutral And Peaceful

Once we heal in this way, we realize that the real villain in our life is not the other gender but the toxic pattern that we formed as children.

In many cases, we realize that men, women, and transgenders all suffer equally in this world. That way, we will shed the victim role and begin to help others who seek it.

This is how we mend society and create a better social and cultural system for everyone. Securing families and creating good homes will ensure that generations of people feel happy and well.

A feminist would think that breaking down families and punishing men would resolve bad relationships. Bad people should indeed be brought to justice. But if one wants to resolve bad relationships, they can’t focus on their partner or society. Rather, one should focus on oneself and the dysfunctional patterns within them.

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